Five Minute Friday: Home

Happy Friday! This is means it's time for another Five Minute Friday post. As a part of Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday writing challenge, every Friday a group of eclectic bloggers turn off our inner critics and perfectionists and just write for five minutes straight. Zero editing. Just a stream of consciousness free for all. And then we all link up and encourage each other. To learn more about Five Minute Friday and how you can participate click  here.Today's topic, on which I wrote unedited for five minutes and posted below for your reading pleasure, is HOME.GO.HomeI'm coming up on eight months of living abroad. Eight months of the first word to pop into my head after home as sick.Missing home.Missing community.Missing friends.Missing the crash of ocean spray and car seats gritty with sand. Missing a car, period.Most days I can barely taste it, the bitter sting of missing. I swallow it down, continue scooping tortillas across bean-filled plates and breathing out Buenos dias, buenas tardes, buenas noches to passerby in the streets, and soaking in the sun of Parque Central while shoe shine boys yell Lustre, lustre, couples--too young and too old--caress each other on slatted benches, and cars blast reggaeton as they hobble over the cobblestone streets.I send emails and schedule skype dates and try not to lose the me I am when I'm with my friends, when I'm at my best.It's not all bad. There are glimpses of home here, too. Of growth and community and choosing to reach out and connect.So I write down the gifts.And I wonder if I should stop trying to make this place home and be satisfied with letting this place be here. Here for now. And, subsequently, allow myself to be all here.Thank you God for most this amazing day. For little bits of Spanish conversation. For impromptu lunch dates and surprise meetings in the park. For kissing on the cheek. For salsa rhythms. For the new young adults group that has finally taken off. For prayers whispered in English and Spanish to grow and change and bless and love.For the home I have in You. For the home You've made in me. Here.***To learn more about Five Minute Friday and how you can participate click  here.

She Spoke Love

It's Five Minute Friday again! And today's topic is a bit off the beaten trail. Today's challenge is What mama did. Be prepared for a tear jerker because today I was asked to tell all about what my mama did that made her mine, in just five minutes. Here it goes.GO.Five minutes of what my mama did. I could write five years and not even begin to tell the story. But then again five minutes takes the pressure off. All I can give is a glimpse.In a glimpse: My mom cried. And prayed. And listened.She let me cry. In fact, she's almost the only one who sees me cry.She fought lies. She affirmed truth.With her I could dredge up my darkest, ugliest doubt or fear and voice it. I could spit it out, bitter, acidic. "They hate me. No one likes me." Or let it slip through heaving sobs. "I'll never want to write again." Later I would use it mockingly, knowing it would hurt her to know I thought so little of myself. "I'm fat. I'm useless. I'm dumb."But no matter my intent, her response was the same. She spoke truth. She never joked. She never threw it in my face. She affirmed me. She affirmed the spark of God in me.You're beautiful. You're smart. You're loved. Just. As. You. Are.My mom listened. My mom saw through the pain. My mom spoke through the pain. She spoke words of love and hope and truth. She voiced the Love I would later find in my own spiritual journey. Hers is the voice I want to copy when loving my friends, when encouraging coworkers, when writing the love story of this blog.My mom spoke love. My mom speaks love. My mom showed me Love.Thank you, Mom, for what you did and what you continue to do. I love you.***This post is part of Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Fridays. Every Friday, we turn off our inner critics and perfectionists and just write for five minutes straight. Zero editing. Just a stream of conscious free for all. And then we all link up and encourage each other. To learn more about Five Minute Friday and how you can participate click  here.

Bare

I have felt more bare in my faith these last few days than I have in a really long time. Bare in the self-conscious sense. Or maybe just conscious.Aware that my faith is different from many of those around me. And yet, aware that Love and Goodness and Hope is available to all, regardless of creed or profession of faith.I find the old stereotypes shouting up from within me, Aren't you supposed to be judgmental, argumentative?But I can't see a reason to argue. I only see chances to connect. Opportunities to learn.And yet something still tugs at me with a haunting sense that my faith must be broken if I don't want to shove it down people's throats.But then I stop, step back. And remember that's the faith I left. The rules and judgement and drawing lines in the sand. That's not the God I know, the Love I follow.And then I don't mind so much feeling bare. Because I remember that we all bear the image of the Divine.***This post is part of Lisa Jo Baker's Five Minute Fridays. Every Friday, we turn off our inner critics and perfectionists and just write for five minutes straight. Zero editing. Just a stream of conscious free for all. And then we all link up and encourage each other. To learn more about Five Minute Friday and how you can participate click  here.